Haixxxxxx

It's been a long time since I have blogged... And I think I'll blog just this one post because I'm in my room all alone right now and I'm bored.

I have also not been visiting my own blog, how very shameful.

I was looking at my wishlist and realised that I can strike out Chacott C.O.A.D., Miss Dior Cherie, and O levels to end...

For those of you who are uninformed I have completed my olevels in 2009 and then enrolled in Serangoon JC... Jc life sucked. It was horrid. Worst experience ever. My passion obviously was for dance and hence I transferred over to NAFA!!!

Don't ask me why not Lasalle, i feel that NAFA has a better dance department than Lasalle. That is subjective so your opinions may differ.

Anyway, digressing away from my main point (was there even one??), I feel really really really fortunate to be studying something I love. To be dancing all day... I do not really show it but I really love dancing (and ballet, in particular).

At times I am so tired and I just felt like quitting school (yes i did), but it was passion that tided me through :)

A semester in NAFA has gone by and I am currently waiting for my results. I think I did not do fantastic.

Specialized ballet techniques was screwed because of my nervousness, apprehension and lack of practice. My fault. I brought it on myself so I do not blame anyone.

Ballet was so-so but my teacher felt that I could have been better. Thank you for your faith in me dear teachers, I will work harder. I really will.

Modern was also so-so, because I have never took modern seriously, I was always lazy not giving my best in modern. Sigh. I got to change my attitude.

Sometimes I feel like transferring to another performing arts school overseas where they would place more emphasis on the practical aspects of dance... I wish I could dance more!!! :( Unfortunately I am not good enough because of my sheer laziness.

I wish I could constantly nag at myself and say that I won't be able to get into SDT if I carry on like this.

Life's harsh realities... Ma Ni will always be technically better than me due to her years of training. I have to work 100 times harder than I am just to be on par with her when she is lazy.

SDT has so many talented dancers, why would they want someone like me? I have scoliosis (slanted spine), different degrees of hyper extended knees, knees that turn in, a too-long torso and my extremely stiff upper back.

Should I just resign to fate and proceed to teaching upon my graduation?

I really want to be a ballerina because I love ballet... And I want to be able to capture the audiences' heart and show how beautiful ballet is and give back to them what they have given to me... Sounds so cliche, but I'm serious.

As a teacher I can introduce this lovely art form and share the love of ballet with my students... But how many of them are serious?

I'm currently relief teaching ballet at a primary school in the west and it has not been enjoyable. The students have absolutely zero interest in ballet, they've never watched a real ballet performance, not even on youtube! My students question me as to why I have a "performance" face whenever I demonstrate a step. Moreover, their parents just want their child to get the RAD grade ___ certificate. I wish parents would not be like that. They are simply wasting their money because they gain almost nothing.

Definitely do not want to teach such students for the rest of my life. So few are dedicated, so few are willing to learn, so few really love ballet.

I really don't know what I'm living for sometimes. Slave to ballet?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3LGIwHHmng
And a video to end this post.

The famed Yulia Stepanova, who has been considered by some to be a rising star at the Mariinsky. (And since Mariinsky is the best, a rising star in the world)

I really love her in the Persian March. When some people perform and emote, they would simply show an expression on their face and/ or through their bodies and movements. Yulia Stepanova is different, she is expressing to the audience, what she is, and leading them into her world, into what she is.

Begin from 5:09, she's the girl in the front row at the middle.


This video inspired me and made me realise that despite technical limitations, I can still perform. In fact, I must still perform :)

Perfection

http://v.chinadance.cn/html/ballet/20100207_25155.html

...

Damn those people who only accept ballerinas with perfect bodies...

Nah I'm just jealous because I don't have one. Anyway they are really lucky, ballet would be so much easier for them.

Criticism

Today one of my dance instructors told me that I have good technique. However, I must be able to interpret the choreographer's choreography by expressing it through my movements in my dance. My dance will help to convey what I and the choreographer is trying to express.

(He also said that if i am unable to do so, I will die in NAFA -.-)

What he said made me realise how critical I am... Whenever I watch performances or someone dancing, I always feel that emotion and expression are the most important. If a performance lack emotion, I'll feel extremely bored and annoyed... (which was exactly how I felt about TJC's dance concert). I always pick on others, but I'm seldom make a conscious effort about myself.

Time to make a change and start correcting myself first before correcting others.

Btw I don't really update this space often (despite the fact that I have lots of time on my hands) because I only wanna update insightful topics... Instead of my childish rants about "today i went to... and bought... and saw... so fun!! So tired..."

Please also pardon my lack of command in the English language as I've been doing very little reading.

I want a boy who will move the hair away from my eyes, and then kiss me. Who will hold my hand in line at the mall and make all the girls jealous. A boy who will sing to me at random moments. Who lets me sleep on his chest. I want a guy who will tell his family and friends all about me. Bring me soup or orange juice when I’m sick. I want a boy who is more goofy than romantic, but knows the right things to say at the right times. I want a boy who will call me 3 times a day if he went away. A boy who will apologize for calling too much, and no matter how many times I tell him its okay, he’d still do it. A boy who will let me gossip to him and just smile and agree with everything I say. A boy who will throw stuffed animals at me when I acted dumb and then jump on me and kiss me a million times. Who will bet kisses on who could beat who on at game. Who makes fun of me just to make me laugh. A boy who will surprise me with 25 cent ring and we could have contest of how far we can spit our gum. Who will take me to the park, put his hands around my waist and give me big bear hugs all the time. A boy who will kiss my neck, just to have a reason to tell me how much he loves my new perfume. I want a boy who, at night, who will dance in his pajamas with me. A boy who will take pictures in photo booths with me, someone who will never turn down a trip to the lake and who will play tag on the beach with me. A boy who could sit with me on the kitchen floor and eat sandwiches. Who will kiss me in the pouring rain. I want a boy who would try to teach me how to play the guitar, even if we just end up laughing at each other. I want a boy who will run his fingers through my hair, share his lollipops with me, and get along with all of my friends. Someone who would never be afraid to say I love you in front of his friends and someone who would argue with me about silly things just to make up. I want a boy who will take me to Target to just make fun of some of the stuff there. Someone who will kiss me at midnight on New Years and who will make funny faces at me when I’m on the phone. I want a boy who will count stars with me and be friends with my family. I want a boy who will stay home with me on a Friday night just to help me make dinner and watch movies together under the same blanket. Someone who will squirt water guns at me in the house after I’ve got him soaked. I want a boy who looks me the eye and tell me something serious, that was also funny and make me promise not to laugh. A boy who could make me laugh like no one else can. I want a boy who will hold me closer than normal when I’m sick, and would play with my hair. But mostly I want a boy who is my best friend and will always be there for me.



THIS KIND OF GUY WHERE TO FIND??!! THEY DON'T EXIST -.-

An Evening With Paloma Herrera

My thoughts about the Paloma Herrera gala on 26 october 2009, as promised :)

A dance performance that I have seen recently would be A Ballet Gala Evening with Paloma Herrera on 26 October 2009. Besides Paloma Herrera herself, there were many other famous dancers from renowned companies such as New York City ballet, San Francisco Ballet, Berlin State Ballet, Tokyo Ballet, Houston Ballet and American Ballet Theatre.

I was very excited for the performance at first as Yuan Yuan Tan was scheduled to perform in the gala. She is one of my favourite dancers and I am very proud of her as she is the only Chinese ballerina attaining the rank of a principal dancer at a major international ballet company, San Francisco Ballet, one of the top ballet companies in the world. Much to my dismay, Yuan Yuan Tan was unable to perform at the gala due to an injury and Lorena Feijoo, also a principal dancer at San Francisco Ballet was scheduled to perform.

Opening the show was Paloma Herrera herself with a variation from Act III of the ballet Raymonda. I thought it was a rather disappointing opening number. The variation although technically simple, could be complicated and difficult in terms of musicality and performance and Paloma Herrera lacked the maturity to depict the refined and aristocratic beauty. She was graceful and elegant, but was unable to be versatile to show another side of Raymonda’s nature: brave and with a strong personality. This was shown through her rather soft and weak échappés which lacked the crisp and staccato when the music became faster towards the end.

My first impressions of the performance were repaired with the next item, which was the Giselle Act II Pas de Deux with Ashley Bouder and Simon Ball. Ashley Bouder and Simon Ball were both great performers and they were able to reach out to the audience with their strong emotions and expressions. Ashley was able to have that sense of longing and forgiveness that Giselle had, and you could see it in her eyes. Ashley, who is well known for her jumps, was able to awe the audience with her clean, light and yet willowy entrechats. This was possible due to her serenity, smooth arms and articulated footwork.

The Sleeping Beauty Act III Wedding Pas de Deux , performed by Mizuka Ueno and Naoki Takagishi, both principal dancers at Tokyo Ballet. The Wedding Pas de Deux is one of my favourite Pas de Deuxs, and hence, I was looking forward to this item. Naoki Takagishi was a noble and charming prince, but the performance was disappointing as they both lacked chemistry. Besides her turns, Mizuka Ueno executed every step perfectly, which was quite a feat as the Pas de Deux could be technically demanding at times. However, her emotions and expressions were inconsistent and she was unable to portray herself as the sweet and innocent Aurora who was about to get married.

Ballet aside, the next item was a contemporary piece, Just Us, performed and choreographed by Lorena Feijoo and Tiit Helimets. The duo had such chemistry and matching impeccable lines.

The Flower Festival in Genzano was definitely one of the audience’s favourite. Both Iana Salenko and Marian Walter were able to interpret August Bournonville’s choreography, technique and style which focused largely on musicality and showed off their nimble footwork. Iana and Marian was a perfect couple just like Rosa and Paolo. Marian was always cheerful and sincere while Iana was a little timid and naïve at first. Her shyness soon vanished and they both were lovers dancing together with sparkling joy.

Paloma Herrera and Sascha Radetsky were up next with the Sinatra Suite and it was yet another second rate performance by Paloma Herrera. The whole item seemed rehearsaed and it was pretty obvious that they were acting. By this time I was wondering if Paloma Herrera had “Captivating portrayals of ballet’s favourite heroines” (as quoted from page 5 of the programme booklet). I soon brushed that thought aside and chose to believe that it was just not her night. What a way of starting and ending the first half of the performance.

After that intermission was a refreshing performance by Mizuka Ueno and Naoki Takagishi in the Carmen Pas de Deux. Their movements were deformed and sometimes bizarre; this was obviously not classical ballet. Mizuka Ueno was able to seduce her partner and she was prepared to give herself up completely to him.

Not Anymore, a contemporary piece performed by Iana and Marian received the loudest applause of the night and it was pretty obvious why. They were both synchronized whenever necessary and their movements were absolutely fluid and adroit that it was almost impossible to peal your eyes away from them.

The famous classic, Swan Lake, was up next. Being a big fan of the Mariinsky Ballet in Russia, I have watched many of their performances online, especially Swan Lake. Maybe it was because of my high expectations that I became critical and found many faults with the Pas D’action. Conversely, my fellow balletomane who watched the Pas D’action found it to be melancholic and yet beautiful. In my opinion, Lorena Feijoo seemed to be too giving to Prince Siegfried, which was unlike Odette’s character who was reserved and timid.

I was delighted to find the Tchaikovsky Pas de Deux in the programme as George Balanchine’s choreopgrahies could not be found online. The performance was stunning and remarkable as both Ashley Bouder and Simon Ball had explosive jumps which were exhilarating and breathtaking and Ashley’s pirouettes were equally exciting.

Last but not least, the Don Quixote Act III Pas de Deux performed by Paloma Herrera and Sascha Radetsky. Don Quixote is well known to be one of Paloma Herrera’s signature pieces and I definitely agree with that. All my previous impressions of her faded away andwere replaced with new and positive impressions from Don Quixote. Paloma was definitely Kitri (a flirty and playful one particularly) and Sascha Radetsky’s charm emerged and these qualities were able to capture the audience.

Overall, even though some pieces were not what I expected them to be, I did like A Ballet Gala Evening with Paloma Herrera. It gave me the chance to watch famous dancers live and their extraordinary talent.

I can't think of a title for this post because I have poor command of the English language and thus have issues expressing myself at times.

Kkkk whatever. I'm back on blogging. I had been contemplating to blog again as people I don't know have been reading my blog. Which is a good thing because some reader told me that my ballet posts are interesting.... I don't really think so but I was so encouraged soo heeeeee heeee... Here I am :)

Anyway... I was thinking about whether the teaching of character, morals, and/ or values are necessary when training to dance.

(And yes, obviously something spurred me to write this post but not telling you what :D)

In my personal opinion... (ONCE AGAIN, LET ME REITERATE THAT THIS IS MY PERSONAL OPINION. YOU MAY STATE YOUR OPPOSING VIEWPOINT BY POSTING A COMMENT.) the teaching of character, morals and/or values are not necessary. Not necessary meaning that they can still be taught, but it isnt compulsory.

Why??? Because it's a training for dance. Time should not be wasted by telling the dancers about how they should be ________________________(insert good moral or good character or good value here).

Of course it is necessary to have determination, perseverance, endurance, respect, commitment etc etc etc... But all these are already embedded in a passionate dancer :)

You may say those other morals or character or values (let's call them MCV for short) are just as important if we wanna be a successful dancer... Well yes, but only to a small extent. It's only extremely important if you want to succeed in life :)


I shall share a video of Viktoria Tereshkina, principal danncer of the Mariinsky Ballet dancing the Aurora variation to end of this post :)

Tatiana's letter in Onegin

"I write to you – no more confession
is needed, nothing's left to tell.
I know it's now in your discretion
with scorn to make my world a hell.

"But, if you've kept some faint impression
of pity for my wretched state,
you'll never leave me to my fate.
At first I thought it out of season
to speak; believe me: of my shame
you'd not so much as know the name,
if I'd possessed the slightest reason
to hope that even once a week
I might have seen you, heard you speak
on visits to us, and in greeting
I might have said a word, and then
thought, day and night, and thought again
about one thing, till our next meeting.
But you're not sociable, they say:
you find the country godforsaken;
though we... don't shine in anyway,
our joy in you is warmly taken.

"Why did you visit us, but why?
Lost in our backwoods habitation
I'd not have known you, therefore I
would have been spared this laceration.
In time, who knows, the agitation
of inexperience would have passed,
I would have found a friend, another,
and in the role of virtuous mother
and faithful wife I'd have been cast.

"Another!... No, another never
in all the world could take my heart!
Decreed in highest court for ever...
heaven's will – for you I'm set apart;
and my whole life has been directed
and pledged to you, and firmly planned;
I know, Godsent one, I'm protected
until the grave by your strong hand:
you'd made appearance in my dreaming;
unseen, already you were dear,
my soul had heard your voice ring clear,
stirred at your gaze, so strange, so gleaming,
long, long ago...no, that could be
no dream. You'd scarce arrived, I reckoned
to know you, swooned, and in a second
all in a blaze, I said: it's he!

"You know, it's true, how I attended,
drank in your words when all was still –
helping the poor, or while I mended
with balm of prayer my torn and rended
spirit that anguish had made ill.
At this midnight of my condition,
was it not you, dear apparition,
who in the dark came flashing through
and, on my bed-head gently leaning,
with love and comfort in your meaning,
spoke words of hope? But who are you:
the guardian angel of tradition,
or some vile agent of perdition
sent to seduce? Resolve my doubt.
Oh, this could all be false and vain,
a sham that trustful souls work out;
fate could be something else again...

"So let it be! for you to keep
I trust my fate to your direction,
henceforth in front of you I weep,
I weep, and pray for your protection...
Imagine it: quite on my own
I've no one here who comprehends me,
and now a swooning mind attends me,
dumb I must perish, and alone.
My heart awaits you: you can turn it
to life and hope with just a glance –
or else disturb my mournful trance
with censure – Ive done all to earn it!

"I close. I dread to read this page...
for shame and fear my wits are sliding...
and yet your honour is my gauge,
and in it boldly I'm confiding"...